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August 12 - Esparto Time Trial
Race info
Results
Photography:
Mark A. Adkison, Ph.D., Hors Categorie Photography
Reports:
Carola Berger, Webcor / Alto Velo
Report by
Carola Berger, Webcor / Alto Velo
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Operacion Esparto -- Lill Phigget and Rob Boll uncover it all!
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Lill Phigget: We are here live at Esparto, where athlete Carola Berger
is ready to tell all! First, we heard that your A sample tested
positive for EPI [editor's note: Extra Pints of Icecream]. What is
your comment?
Carola Berger: Yes, I confess. There is no need to test the B sample.
I doped myself with EPI (hazelnut flavor) in the past couple weeks, to
try and cope with a severe bout of overtraining, my big upcoming move
away from California, crazy work hours because several projects need
to be finished before I move, and a ton of personal issues. To mask
the effects of EPI (hazelnut) such as increased BMI, I attempted a
Double century last weekend. But because my saddle broke after about
120 miles, the attempt failed, thus leading to the
EPI-hazelnut-positive A sample.
Rob Boll: So, you said to yourself, the W 1/2/3 field at the Cal Cup
will split you open and pour you out like a suckling pig at Christmas
time, and you shot yourself a couple IVs with Ben and Jerry's to get
ready?
Carola Berger: No IVs. I'm suffering from acuphobia. If you show me a
needle, I run a 100 miles. Hey, that's an idea, and might even be
USADA approved. At the next ITT, I'll have somebody with a needle
follow me on a motorcycle. I betcha, I'll beat all records trying to
outrun him.
Lill Phigget: But back to the race. Can you tell us more what happened
in the initial kilometers of your race?
Rob Boll: On our monitors it looked like you were about to do a
faceplant reminiscent of a cardinal canoodling the red carpet.
Carola Berger: Since I have not done any training with intensity for a
month, no intervals, nothing, my body was in a bit of a shock in the
first couple of minutes, so I wasn't really looking where I was going
and hit one of these potholes. My front wheel was a bit out of true
and I had to ride with open brakes the rest of the way.
Lill Phigget: After this incident, you rode like a woman possessed!
Carola Berger: Yes, I passed two people, and my 30-second woman was
the ideal rabbit to chase, until she cracked shortly after the
turnaround when I passed her as well. Then I didn't really have
anybody in sight and lost my rhythm.
Rob Boll: The last 3 kilometers your head was lower than a snake's
belly at the bottom of a Deep South penitentiary septic tank and you
almost bit the dust.
Carola Berger: I had totally miscalculated the distance. Bear in mind,
my so far longest ITT was about 10 miles, and my only ITT intervals
ever were cut short because some scumbag stole my saddlebag on Canada
last Friday. So I just didn't know how to pace myself. Somewhere
around the 4 or 3 to go mark, in whatever Leiboldian measurement
units, I totally died. I nearly went into the ditch, was already on
the gravel. Nevertheless, this was good enough for 7th out of 17,
although for the life of me I can't time trial.
Carola Berger
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