January 28 - Early Bird Road Race, Patterson
Results

Race photos: RonaldMariano.com

Pro/1/2 report by Michael Hernandez, SAFEWAY/GA Communications

The Early Bird/Patterson road race course is such a fun little exercise. It rolls out and back through this spongey-green little canyon off Freeway 5. The only challenging terrain of the race occurs at the button-end of the road - a hideous wee kicker of a 2 mile climb. 'Deceptively difficult' is how I describe this climb. The steep initial slopes load up the legs and if you don't back off the natural urges of aggression ... you can explode like a pinata a handful of minutes later. The first year I did Patterson ~ it was more an implosion for me, actually. Somone switched-on this uber-powerful vacuum secretly implanted in my belly ... a "snoofty-ffwoOOP" signaled my sucking implosion.

It hurt so bad ... I remember thinking how the twisty-turny steep riding technique wasn't even an option ... as I was quite certain I would lumberjack it straight away if my vision strayed from the Ritchey logo-ed stem.

I learned my lesson that first time at Patterson ... ride your own pace on the climb - the whole thing.

Pro/1/2 lead pack on the climb Photo by RonaldMariano.com

In this year's race, our small field warmed up with a few accelerations out of the gate - each a bit stronger as the minutes passed. After a length of hard riding, we organized into a very workman-like group that rotated briskly through the canyon, winding past farms and horses and landslides.

The climb.

As we hit that opening bugger pitch, Jesse Moore, an excellent up-hiller from the Davis Bike Club, did a good bit of damage to us all by stomping on the pedals during the first 30 seconds of climbing. That stupid hill always sends me straight to clanking emergency tones on the granny gear.

There were a couple of TIAA-CREF boys that were very fun to watch on Saturday. About half-way up the climb, Lucas Euser took over the pace-making from Jesse and kept it strong all the way up the hill. His climbing form is very, very good ~ relaxed shoulders, high cadence, glassy pedalstroke, eyes always forward.

Fellow CREF-er, Taylor Tolleson, was the only other rider sticking on Moore and Lucas' pace. I was about 20 seconds back and riding as best I could. Dominic Gianpaolo must have been in the 21t going up those pitches. I was looking for some bolts or nuts to explode out of his kneecaps. This dude rides on sheer toughness.

TIAA-CREF racers Euser and Tolleson hammer the descent Photo by RonaldMariano.com

Anyway ~ up the Patterson climb, it was definitely a show of smooth climbing from Moore and Lucas. Taylor wasn't quite as smooth. About four minutes into the race, he figured out he had to pee. Le oops. By the time we hit the hill, that boy was running capacity levels on his bladder. So, as can be expected, his climbing form was ... well, he kinda looked like he was riding with a bowling ball balanced in his lap.

Since I knew the descent pretty well, I was feeling good about my chances to re-connect with the lead trio on the downside of the climb. I spun around at the top, shooting a "howdy-ho, Bob" to Mr. Leibold working the traffic, then put in a few hard pedalstrokes to start the elevation drop. A couple of bike leans running red on the radical-meter had me back with the lead-trio quick enough.

The ride home saw the four of us work well together. It was a gentlemanly bit of training. A couple miles after the road flattened, Taylor finally had to patch the direct line to mother nature. Hey, everybody has to use their respective utensils and let loose some excess fluid every once in awhile, you dig? So, we slowed for that bit of necessity. Otherwise, it was just a solid training day with soldiering-on long pulls under dreamery green scenery.

The Mig (SAFEWAY/GA Comm) closes the gap (on his 'cross bike??) Photo by RonaldMariano.com

Final preparations for the sprint came with a K to go when Lucas took off his vest and we gathered up positions to turn it out. We went up to speed smoothly and began the fun n' games.

The initial seconds of moving about and thinking stopped at about 500 meters. Patterson's finish is a long, uphill sprint that requires huge amounts of patience and tons of oompf in the legs. If you start your sprint too early, you could be gulping heapfuls of suffering down the gullet 50 meters from the line. It's a tough effort.

The vibe for our sprint was great. We had all logged in a solid chunk of training and our efforts of heavy tempo and honorable goofballness was being rewarded with a good-natured sprint.

Perfect training day.

Shingles and giggles aside, for that final 500 meters ... we were racing, baby.

With the three of them friendly-like on terms (and all disgustingly young and attractive to boot ... bastards) - I reckoned my chances would be best served with a late, bursty sprint to the line - less tactics and more raw acceleration. But, if someone went early ... I wouldn't have minded that either. As long as they were doing the leading.

Lucas pulled a tricky little feint to try and pull one of us into leading the sprint from far out. Nobody bit on his fakery, and there were no immediate counter attacks. Let the games begin!

We rolled along at a lower speed after Lucas' attack ... the tension growing and everyone poised for action as the 200 meter sign came into sight. We positioned ourselves as best we could ... and waited.

Jesse finally threw out a happy "bleep it," and took off hell-bent for the line. I jumped on his wheel with an audible "yip" and felt a surge of yumminess through my nibblies. Moore was accelerating to full sprint speed and I had the perfect slingshot position. This was going to be easy-fun.

Yeah, the two TIAA boys were behind me, but I figured if they could come around ... they deserved the win. And, honestly, i thought my chances were pretty good.

It wasn't even close.

Taylor jumped before I chose to, and by the third pedalstroke of my sprint, he had two bike lengths on me.

What an acceleration - it was beautiful to watch.

...Ah well. Age had nothing to do with it ~ that was just plain getting whooped.

But wait - the sprint is not over, is it?

"Waah?" - not satisfied with the win for za Director Vaughters, little Lucas' wheel started to hop to the left around mine from behind. Was he going to try and come around, too?

Not a gawdamn chance.

I mean, c'mon ... a boy's gotta have some pride, even on Jan 28th.

After the finish we all said 'hey' and 'thanks for the ride' and pedaled our separate ways. They were going to get some more miles of riding in ... while I planted my butt on the side of the road to watch some finishes and wait for my favorite racer to arrive.

She waved.

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