June 12 - NorCal/NV TT Championship, Sattley
Race results
Tandem report

Michael Hernandez and Dan Plummer (Team Spine)

More photos: AlpenGlow Images

Tandem race report by Michael Hernandez, Team Spine

Yeah, yeah...I know what you're all thinking - "Tandem? Isn't that for freds and fatties?"

Well, until you've tried it, hold the critiques. I'm telling you, tandem racing is the sh*t, baby. You see, tandem racing is at the core of why we get into bike racing - it's an individual, but also a team sport. You dig?

Ok, let me explain a bit. Both da' Plummer and I are domestique riders. We ride waaay stronger when the team is relying upon us for support. That's just the way it is. When we race the tandem, we get to be both domestiques AND leaders. We ride for our teammate and for ourselves. It frickin' rules.

Tandem racing is also ALL about the science of cycling. Bottom line, it's efficiency and smoothness that will win out over uncoordinated, simple brute power...every time. But when you combine efficiency with power...oh man, you haven't experienced racing until you've been there.

So, Dan and I have really been working hard on our tandem riding. Even when we're off the tandem, we have been training for the tandem. It is so difficult to generate the smoothness to become a great tandem team. The guy to ask is Brian McGuire...he knows the score. Not only is he one of the best TT guys around, McGuire and Cynthia Mommsen are one of the best tandem teams in the nation. Dan and I were psyched when we got a shout of encouragement from him.

Neither of us is a great flat time trialist. I'm especially prone to weakness on a straight, flat TT. I need climbs and changes in rhythm to kick out a superior race against the clock. Dan's more of a guy who can stick the watt meter at a certain level and pound it like a metronome. Sattley is, above all else, a true time trialists course. It is as mentally as physically taxing - the bumps, the long drags, the wind...to stay focused and on power takes supreme self discipline. If you ride Sattley successfully - you have accomplished something worthwhile.

Our goal for Sattley was to have the fastest time of the day. I thought we could do it until I saw gawdamn Puckett's blazing 51:29. "Poop on a stick...how we gonna beat that?" I would have been happy with going sub 53! Ah well, I still wanted to ride hard - so off to the trainers to hook up with Plummer and get ourselves in game mode.

As Dan has said, when it comes to TT's...'you formulate a warm-up and you stick to it.' You HAVE to turn it on autopilot. You want to be serene in the regimented nature of the warmup, but you also want to get fired up and fierce. You want to be shooting nuclear snot balls and burning laser holes into the competition with your eyes - but you want to be smiling and calm as you do it. To that end, everything must be ready, everything must be clockwork. Bike ready, watches calibrated with official time, nutrition dialed in and perfect, clothing ready, numbers pinned, tires pumped, chains lubed...in a word, everything has to be frickin' perfect. Then, you're free to enter into the zone.

Dan and I were in the zone. We rolled up to the start line confident with our preparation and ready to answer the question - "can we do it?" Off the line we roll, almost lazy in our acceleration. We take our time in generating speed and let the effort work itself into our bodies. I'm shifting down through the gears, but I don't want to go below the 15t. I wanted our first 5k to be under control and conservative. I can feel Dan back there itching to push a bit harder, but we settle in and start the machine. Dan is constantly giving me feedback on his effort level - that's key to being a great tandem team...communication. We are through 3k now and I've got to shift to the 14t because we're just going too fast. When you're spinning the 54x14t at 95-100 rpm...you're going fast. And, the beauty was - we were totally under control...gliding.

By 8k we can see the team that started two minutes in front of us, and they're getting closer with every pedal stroke. We hit the riser through the forests and blow by them like they've got cement in their shoes.

"Heart rate 186...I'm floating," I hear from Plummer. Sweet. We're so on track. I'm trying to remember what my old training buddies at Moriarty used to say about speed and gear ratios. I thought I remembered that a lot of guys had gone sub 50 with a 50x14 fixed gear...or was it a 52x14...shyte, was it a 53x14? I can't remember and I banish the distraction. Right now we're spinning a 54x13 like it's a blender at a Tijuana happy hour. We're absolutely spot-on in our effort and technique. You think it's easy to ride the tandem? Ask somebody who's done it, or better yet - go hop on one. You'll see.

Now we're heading towards the turn-around. That gawdamn Sattley turn-around that seems to take FOREVER to arrive. This is when I'm the most vulnerable...'how hard do I go now? Where is that turn- around? I just want to start hammering back!'

Ah...there it is. Ok, this is what I wanted to know...our time split is...

"Are you going to shift?"

Oh crap, I was still in the damn 13t. Man, thank god Plummer has his thinking cap on. Click, click, click....whoa, turn that beast around the cone...say a quick `hi' to Crompton and the other turn marshalls as I almost flub the damn turn-around...ok, actually, I did flub the turn - but, we didn't kiss pavement and I was only overgeared by two or three cogs. We finally flip the U and are back on track. I look down at the watch...(gasp) we could go sub 50 on this thing.

"No f*#!-ing way."

I don't even want to hope that we'll ride under 50, so I tell Dan `sub-51.' Yeah right, he knows the score and I feel him accelerate smoothly. It's not said, but we both know it - `let's get under 50 minutes at Sattley...hell yeah!' The thing is, the wind is dying down and the header we pushed through on the way out is peetering out and not giving up as much tail lovin' as we'd hoped (no jokes about tandems and tail lovin', please). Doesn't matter...technique!

Through the gears we go - our speed increasing for the trip home. 15, 14, 13...12? Yes, we're hitting the 54x12 and all the while our cadence never drops below 90rpm.

"I'm still floating!"

God-bless-america, what did Dan put in that Red Bull? We're railing it now over the false flats and those despicable rollers on the far end of the Sattley course. And then, there they are, the trees that mark 10k to go. "Get it, come on, let's go get it." And now, we realize - sub 49 is within our grasp. We know it and start driving harder. "Oh man, why didn't I get aero wheels for this damn thing!"

The final 2k...I'm in full grimace and I can hear Dan breathing like a freight locomotive. We're flying and that blasted finish line just keeps moving away...moving away. Finally, we burst across the line...three seconds too late. Aaarrrgh!

Hell, we don't mind that much. We just rode what could be a course record at Sattley on a stock tandem with barely any aero equipment. That's satisfying. And, what's the most satisfying thing is that we did it on a course that doesn't play to our strengths.

There are other courses that will play to our strengths...we'll go faster there. We'll let you know how it goes in a few weeks.

Yeehaw!
Hillbilly Hernando and da' Plummer
Team Spine

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